i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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