thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize