So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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