i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
