that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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