D3 body, D1 cock
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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