There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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