Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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