remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
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Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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