dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize