All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
