You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
