please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
