I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize