Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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