pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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