So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
