Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
