who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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