She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
