please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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