wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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