I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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