Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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