i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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