I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
