I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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