I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize