i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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