I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
