We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just cut my nipple shaving
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
