What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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