Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.