he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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