i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
