Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
