just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
