she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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