I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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