physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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