Too much gin, very little bucket
im holly from the hills drunk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
that may or may not have been my penis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
