I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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