How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
