Buhtt sex?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
