I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
