Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
