I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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