whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
