then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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