the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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