Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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