no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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