He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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