I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
