I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize