i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
