Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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