I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
BRING THE BAGELS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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