Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
