It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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