I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize