She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
