I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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